Good Oak News

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Good Oak Paving: Simpler, Easier, Smoother Natural Areas Management

Today, Good Oak is excited to announce our newest division, aimed at making natural areas management easy and affordable for everyone:
After nearly 20 years working outdoors for nature centers, forest preserves, national monuments, and many other natural areas, Frank Hassler, Good Oak's chief ecologist has determined that the most efficient answer to managing natural areas is the simplest one: just pave over it!
"Determining the best plan of action when faced with a degraded natural area can be a daunting task. Even the best experts don't always get the expected results. And the work, though rewarding, and critical to maintaining the biodiversity of our planet which creates the ecosystem services that sustain our lives and our society, is difficult. I have finally found a simple answer to each of our clients' unique and beautiful properties: just pave it!"
Our system is simple: First we come to your property to meet you for a detailed site visit where we analyze the natural areas or existing landscape on your property; we determine which invasive plants need control, where there are opportunities for new features in the landscape and which native plants are present and need preservation. Second, we pave over it! There is no step 3! It's that simple!
Before Good Oak Paving Services
After Good Oak Paving Services

Hear from just a few of our already satisfied customers: Bob in Verona:
"After attending a talk by Frank recently about planting a prairie, I realized this would be a complicated multi-step process, taking 4-6 years to complete, and costing up to $2000 per acre. Ugh! I was so relieved when we heard about the 'Paving Alternative'. We got the yard paved over last week, in just one day! And we saved dozens of dollars! Long term consequences to the web of life be damned!"
Sara in Middleton:
"Originally I wanted a rain garden to help reduce run-off into our lakes and provide butterfly habitat. But then I found out that I'd have to be careful to drive my lawnmower AROUND the rain garden, and I knew there had to be a better way. I'm so glad Good Oak helped me pave my yard instead! Now I can park wherever I want, and why should I care about my downstream neighbors anyway!"
Jim in Dodgeville:
"We used to have a prairie that was planted about 20 years ago. But we kept having to burn it every few years to maintain it, and once I had to go weed it and my thumb got pricked by a thistle! We just paved the prairie and I couldn't be happier. The thistles didn't have a chance! Ha! And no more pesky meadowlarks waking me up in the morning!"
Paving can solve any challenge in your landscape or natural area:
  • garlic mustard infestation?: pave over it!
  • poor grading around your home leading to basement flooding?: pave over it!
  • shoreline erosion?: pave over it!
  • woods suffering from oak decline?: pave over it!
  • landscape created by a classic American landscape architect in need of a refresh?: pave over it!
  • tired of hearing crickets at night?: pave over it!
 Good Oak Paving Services:
Paving over Paradise Since 2014

UPDATE: This is of course our April Fool's joke. Natural Areas Restoration and Sustainable Landscaping aren't easy, but they are worth it.


Anonymous said...

Can't wait for the Tar! ;-)

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